Distractomatic

Mar
08


Add Your Comment

millions of pizzas

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

millions of pizzas
pizzas for free*

millions of pizzas
pizzas for me**
*almost free, $4.99 all-you-can-eat
**not just me, you’re welcome too. in fact, your presence is greatly
desired.

round table pizza
in sunny burbank, ca
corner of victory & buena vista
12:15 pm, friday afternoon

pizzas come on a pan
they were put there by a man
in a restaurant in burrrrbank.

i promise to never re-word such a bad song again

well, i don’t “promise,” since i could forget at some future date when i’m
trying to think up a pizza email.

it surprises you that i give these emails thought, doesn’t it?

it suprises me too.

have a happy day.

Mar
01


Add Your Comment

Food & Shelter.

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

March 1st Priorities:

1) Pay rent.
2) Go to Royal Pizza Buffet.
(in no particular order)

Rent — send to landlord.
RPB — find at corner of Victory & Buena Vista, Burbank Round Table, 12:15 PM.

Feb
22


Add Your Comment

No pizza for you.

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

Hey people-
no pizza today.
well, no official RPB that is.
you can always go if you like.
who knows who will be there?
ah, the mystery is enticing, is it not?
RPB to resume next friday.
-mike

Feb
15


Add Your Comment

pizza love

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

we heart pizza
we heart round table
we heart burbank
we heart 12:15 pm
we heart victory & buena vista.

hope you all had a fine valentine’s day.
now it’s time for pizza.
we heart pizza.
we heart you coming and eating.

Feb
08


Add Your Comment

sounds like pizza

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

RR-OW-N-D+++TAY-BULL+++PEA-ZAH+++BOO+FAY

TWELL-VUH+++FIFF-TEEN+++PEA+EM

VICK-TORY+++AH-N-DUH+++BUH-WAY-NAH+++VIH-S-TAH

BURR-BANK

Feb
01


Add Your Comment

We’re talking about Pizza.

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

“Hey Mike?”

“Yes?”

“What’s going on?”

“What’s going on???”

“Yeah, like what are you up to?”

“Oh. Not a lot.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is.”

“Isn’t there something you should be doing?”

“I’m enjoying this nice sunny hillside.”

“Wha? There’s no… no I mean, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Oh, I suppose I’m forgetting lots of things all the time.”

“No, I mean… geez, about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? Yes, it’s coming, isn’t it?”

“Right… and tomorrow is…”

“Oh crap, that’s right. It’s Friday.”

“Yes, and Friday is…”

“RPB day!”

“And it’s…”

“Happening at the Burbank Round Table.”

“Right, but at what time?”

“12:15, of course. But, you knew that.”

“Yes, I did.”

“It’s true.”

“What’s true?”

“That you knew.”

“I did?”

“Yes, and do you know what else?”

“I don’t know. What?”

“Victory & Buena Vista.”

“I often spell ‘Buena’ backwards.”

“Well, good thing we’re talking then.”

“Yes, it is.”

“It is.”

“It.”

“Is.”

Jan
25


Add Your Comment

Sinners! Redeem yourself!

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

Wash away those oh-so-bothersome iniquities!

Cleanse: All you can eat Pizza Buffet!
Purify: Round Table Pizza, Burbank!
Expurgate: 12:15 PM!
Sanctify: Victory & Buena Vista!

Jan
18


Add Your Comment

Hey, Johnny, what’s that in your pocket?

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

COULD IT BE?

Oh, YES, it is!!

Oh, GOD, it most certainly is!!!!

A slice of Round Table Pizza!!!!!!!!!
Oh god: Burbank Round Table Pizza Buffet
Oh yes: 12:15 PM
Oh god: Burbank & Buena Vista
Oh yes: Friday

Jan
15


Add Your Comment

Introduction

11:24 am | Mike Hanttula writes:

Original project completed in 2005 (see ‘Project Complete’ note in sidebar). Scheduled to relaunch in 2009.

Brothers & Sisters,

In this time of trial and difficulty around the web; Hanttula.com, your home for Internet fun, would like to extend its services to help those in need.

Is your site (or the site of a loved one) vexed by strange problems, server errors, lack of traffic, or the like? Does it seem that, no matter how hard you work, your site is not helping you realize the full potential of the Internet? Before you expend thousands of dollars re-designing, try the FREE Hanttula.com Website Blessing Service. The service consists of:

  • A Basic Blessing by one of our officially ordained Ministers
  • An Incantation to address the specific needs of your site
  • A virtual “Laying on of Hands” to wield “The Power” directly to your site
  • A certificate (sent in image format via email) commemorating the blessing. Suitable for printing & framing.
    [ Sample certificate shown below ]

PLEASE NOTE: These blessings are performed on an individual basis and each certificate is generated by hand. Please ensure the following:

  • Submitted sites are actual, live sites with which YOU ARE CONNECTED (no more requests to bless Yahoo, please).
  • Your submission includes specific site ailments. Or, ask for a general blessing. We can only bless a site if we understand its need. Submissions that do not list actual site ailments cannot receive a blessing at this time.
  • Your submission includes accurate information. (so we don’t take the time to bless a site & make a certificate, only to find out that an incorrect email address was provided).
  • You realize that blessings may take some time (due to backlog of requests). Sometimes a week or more. (We’re going as fast as we can.)

To begin the sanctifying of your site, simply fill out and submit the following form:

[Form Removed as Project is Complete ]

hanttulacom-website-blessing-cert

Jan
11


Add Your Comment

you guessed correctly, Mr. Jones.

12:15 pm | Mike Hanttula writes:

as if you didn’t already know: PIZZA BUFFET
like you may have forgotten: ROUND TABLE
in the chance your memory is slipping: 12:15 PM
and in case you cannot recollect: VICTORY & BUENA VISTA