I haven’t fully explored all the April Fool’s Day pranks out there this year, but no doubt this is the cruelist. Thinkgeek has come up with a piece of merchandising that even the most betrayed and cynical ex-Star Wars fan would want to own…

For those of you wondering if the Watchmen movie is going to be any good, there is a big hint in this brief interview with director Zack Snyder.  Watch as a grown man uses his fingers to figure out the complex mathematical equation 3 x 3, and still gets it wrong.

Want to waste a couple of hours? Check out these catalogs from the upcoming auction of Neverland Ranch.  Everything must go!  Surely there is someone out there interested in Lot 973, a battery operated Coca-Cola clock, expected to fetch $30-$50.

Check out this clip from an old Japanese children’s show and see if you can figure out which character isn’t exactly who they seem to be. Is it the Alligator Monster Nazi Officer?  One of the four vaguely effeminate heroes?  HINT: Hitler was not Asian.

Don’t believe the title of this amazing video, the Japanese man playing Mario Land is most definitely drunk.  And hysterical.  The video features very bad monsters, very good weapons and some salty language, so be warned.  But it is the best eight minutes you will spend today, guaranteed.

It’s about time: the anti-stupid pill!

Maybe you’re broke.  Or just cheap.  Or maybe it’s that your alcohol consumption will bankrupt you at LA’s astronomical drink prices.  BEHOLD!  My new best friend (who I don’t even know) has started LA’s myopenbar.com!  Check in here to find where you can drink for free or cheap in LA. 

I’ve had a crap day.  Oh, why, WHY must they make me wait ten years for this?

I may be new around here, but I hear there’s a tradition fueled by Hanty’s love of hot sauce.  Let me just say one thing:  #42 SLAUGHTER SAUCE.  She packs 67,582 scoville units and a shotgun stuffed in her brassiere. 

Why are my get-rich-quick schemes always so complicated when they could be so SIMPLE?  Buy a pixel for $1 and help college students in the UK drink better beer.  (And I’m not kidding about better beer…they’ve sold over $800K of pixels so far.)